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Greetings!
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you were able to
have some degree of self-control during yesterday's feast. As we get into the
holiday season, families get together and we remember and share stories. What
stories does your family have? Do you tell stories to your kids?
Today's article is an excerpt from my
e-book, "25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers," about
telling your own stories to your children. If you're not telling your stories
to them now, this holiday season may be a great time to start.
Stories for Your Kids 
Why is it important to tell your stories to
your children?
One important reason is that it serves to
connect your children to previous generations and to help them to feel a part
of the larger whole of your family. Perhaps a more important reason is that
telling your children your stories helps them to deal with the difficult
challenges that they'll be facing in their life.
The truth is that your kids will go through
some real struggles. As parents, it can be painful to watch--and it is seldom
useful to try to come to the rescue. What can be helpful to your kids is to
know that their father, and other significant people in their lives, have
gone through similar struggles and have survived.
Stories are often about struggles and
failures. Your children love to hear stories about these struggles because
they have them often in their own lives. They know failure and struggle
extremely well; that's a lot of what being a kid is about.
The stories you tell them will ultimately be
comforting. That you have had these struggles and have come back and
recovered is encouragement to them; your kids will need a truckload of
encouragement to navigate their way through life.
It's a gift to be able to communicate what's
in your heart through the use of stories. Stories can not only be used as a
vehicle to pass along your values, but they are likely to inspire your
children to repeat the same process with their children.
Here are five suggestions to help you in
story-telling with your children:
1. Tell stories to your kids when they're
the most attentive to them--when they're in bed, or settled down so they can
sit still for awhile.
2. Make sure to include stories of you
failing miserably. These are particularly useful to your kids. We've all got
a few of these, don't we?
3. Have your parents tell your children some
of their own stories if they're able--a great way to show the connection that
exists between generations.
4. Use stories to answer your kids'
questions about difficult issues. They need to know that you've faced these
issues yourself, and that there are many choices available.
5. Realize that you don't need a history of
storytelling in your family to get started, and you don't need to be a great
storyteller. Give some thought to experiences you've had that might relate to
some of the issues your kids are facing right now or in the near future.
There is a short window of opportunity in
which to tell your children the stories of your life. Many fathers fail to
tell their stories because of a lack of a story-telling tradition in their
family of origin. This can be a wonderful opportunity to begin your own
tradition with your own stories.
May your stories live on eternally.
25 Secrets of Emotionally
Intelligent Fathers
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Dealing With Homework
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Research shows
that when parents become involved in their children's schoolwork, the
children do better in school. One way you can get involved is by helping
your child with homework.
The Schwab Learning Foundation has polled
parents and come up with a number of strategies to help parents in dealing
with homework issues. This article may give you some good ideas on how to
tackle this delicate and challenging subject.
Article from the Schwab Learning
Foundation »
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Your Child's Learning Style
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It seems reasonable
that if you're going to help your kids with homework, it would be helpful
to know what predominant learning style they have.
Here's an article from the Work and Family Resource Center that tells about the three basic learning styles. See
if you can spot your child's style in here.
Children's learning style
article »
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Father Quotes and Jokes
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My father had a
profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
-Spike Milligan 1918-2002
Three boys were heading home from school
one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship.
He said, "My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph
fast ball from the pitcher's mound and run and catch it just after it
crosses the plate!"
One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah?
Well, my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold
it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!"
The last boy said, "Your dads don't
even come close to being faster than mine. My dad works for the government,
and even though he works every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"
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Quality time for busy dads
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For many of you
that are struggling with busy schedules, spending quality time with your
kids may be difficult. This article give fathers some ideas on how to make
the most of your time with your kids.
Quality time with your kids
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Coaching Offer and Teleclass
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My offer to help
you improve your relationships at home with 5 coaching sessions for $99
will be here only through November. These 5 sessions are a $375 value! And
if you're not satisfied, you're money will be returned to you, no questions
asked! This is it, your last chance. Won't ever be cheaper than this. How
important are your family relationships? To register, click on the "register"
link below, and click "5 Day Program," and put $99 in the dollar
amount.
My teleclass for sidestepping power
struggles and creating more harmony at home (including the Holidays) for
fathers will be December 3rd and 10th at 7-8 pm EST. The cost is $39 for this dynamic and action- based
class. To register, click on the "registration" link below,
choose teleclass, and put $39 in the dollar amount.
Coaching or teleclass registration
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Me? Sex Education?
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True story: When
my dad told me about "the facts of life," it consisted of him
telling me that "my penis was sometimes filled with blood; there
wasn't really a bone down there." The level of discomfort we both felt
at that moment was such that he left the room shortly thereafter.
While I did learn something about the
human body on this day, I'm not sure I felt more ready to handle issues of
sex, intimacy, abstinence, etc. The day is either coming for you or has
passed in which you can address these things (or not!) with your kids.
Here's an article from the Talking With
Kids Organization that you may find helpful when considering this very
important issue.
Sex Education Article »
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Keep your Feedback Coming
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Please continue to
help us make this the #1 father newsletter in the world. I'd love to have
your suggestions for improvement, questions about family dilemnas you'e
having, and stories that you have to share. Thanks for the help.
For more resources, information, and some
free stuff for fathers, click on the web page listed below.
More father resources
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